New Comm Ave

Jenna Bellini is a freshman majoring in Business Management in the Carroll School of Management at Boston College. She is from New York, and thoroughly fits the stereotype of the typical headstrong New Yorker who sets her mind on something and then refuses to let anything stand in her way. She plans to eventually change the traditional American business model in a way that incorporates charitable aspects into the world of profits. Although people roll their eyes at hearing that plan, it makes her even more determined to make it happen just to prove them wrong. She believes that despite popular belief, it IS possible for a tiny 5’2 Italian girl to single-handedly change the world. Proceed with the eye rolling... it’ll happen!

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Young adults may still watch as old movies depict scenes of loving couples and romantic dates, but reality proves that these traditions are often far from standard in modern times. Current American college students in particular are facing the spread of the ‘hook-up culture’, in which many values and practices have been completely altered from those of the past. Although the change in the nature of relationships is obvious, the contributing factors and the corresponding results may not always be apparent. The hook up culture has consumed this generation, and young adults are diving into a world where decisions are based on convenience without stopping to consider the consequences of their behavior. The ambiguity behind the term ‘hooking up’ is mirrored in the uncertainty many young adults are presented with in attempting to determine the conduct expected of them and how their actions will influence their futures.

In the United States, choosing a partner was originally a family-oriented process in which a young adult had little control or privacy in the matter. Kathleen Bogle, a professor of sociology and criminal justice at La Salle University, explains that traditional dating was a time characterized by strict parental supervision and exceedingly young marriages (Bogle 12). This process eventually developed into a new form of dating in which a young adult went out with their partner on public dates. Laura Stepp, a reporter for The Washington Post conducting research on the development of this culture, describes the traditional system in saying "Dating…allowed a couple to practice true intimacy. It allowed you to get to know each other" (Carroll). While dating, couples were given the opportunity to explore private conversations and discover details about one another, thus enabling them to develop deeper relationships.

Contrasting this, modern times have fallen on a much different way of life that strays away from intimacy and relationship building. Currently, traditional dating and committed relationships have become a much less popular practice among young adults. A study by the Independent Women’s Forum in 2001 reported that 33% of the college women interviewed had been asked on only two dates or fewer over their college experience (Carroll). Laura Stepp’s conclusions support this proposition as well by citing an interview with a current college student in which the student estimated that only about 5% of his friends were in committed relationships (Carroll). Bogle describes this culture as a “reversal of traditional dating” (Bogle 1). She explains that traditionally, dating might eventually lead to something sexual happening. The difference is that in the hookup era, something sexual happens first, and that may or may not ever lead to formal dating (Trumpet). These hook-ups are typically characterized by low commitment and often no expectation of even seeing each other again (Lopez).

Although multiple studies generate varying results, a general commonality among them is that between 40%-80% of college students ‘hook-up’, and the “average number of these nearly anonymous encounters by graduation is ten” (Lopez).

Perhaps the most influential factor in the spread of the hook up scene is the weight technology holds in modern culture. Advances in technology have exposed this generation to such commodities as portable cell phones, social networking websites, and wireless Internet connection. These advances have become increasingly popular among young adults, so much so that they are often looked at as nearly necessities for every day life. Young adults and adolescents are given widespread freedom from parental supervision through the use of technology because it is often difficult for parents to monitor their children’s conversations and actions when they aren’t fully familiar with these technologies. “Not understanding the acronyms used in text messaging makes it difficult for parents to monitor normal text messaging, let alone distinguish explicit texts from appropriate texts. Just like online, the cell phone is one more arena that students are using to define themselves apart from their parents’ guidance and influence” (Wagner). Thus, young adults can often hide the nature of their text messages and online conversations because many parents aren’t accustomed to the technology. Furthermore, young adults can also avoid supervision because text messaging allows conversations to continue into late hours of the night, which is usually long after parents have gone to sleep (Wagner). A teenager surveyed in Sabrina Weill’s novel acknowledged this notion when she remarked, “there’s not a lot my parents can do to stop me” (Weill 55). Thus, not only do many young adults have the opportunity to explore conversations and propositions about hooking up in a state of privacy, but they are also well aware of it.

In relation to technology, text messaging in particular has become exceedingly popular in recent times and it has a profound influence on modern culture. This form of exchange can make people more comfortable in communicating because they aren’t directly conversing, so it can ease the pressure on the discussion (AT&T). In a recent AT&T study, 38% of participants admitted that their wireless phone has saved them from an uncomfortable dating situation.

Furthermore, 34% of texters agreed that they would be more comfortable on a first date if they received a text message beforehand (AT&T). Text messaging and Internet communication allow contact with many more people at one time, and this fragmentation allows each relationship to take up a little bit less of your life and thus become overall individually less significant (NPR).

Another major component in the spread of the hook up culture involves the change in the overall dynamics of college. Very few women attended college decades ago, but today women even outnumber men at many universities. “There are currently about 80 men for every 100 women in college” (Bogle 23). Furthermore, modern students are facing ever-increasing standards and challenges in relation to obtaining an education. Due to increased competition and rising tuition costs, students are compelled to work harder and spend much more time on their studies. Because of these rigid schedules, “twenty-four hours in a day doesn’t leave much time for the modern student” (Carroll). Many young adults feel as if relationships take too much effort and can get in the way of careers and friendships because of this lack of free time. This makes the simplicity of basic hooking up attractive because it involves much less effort than dating. Therefore, hooking becomes “a kind of weigh station for you as you prepare other plans" because it is a temporary arrangement (Carroll).

In relation to college, Bogle also suggests that sexual behavior is socially learned (Bogle 8). Therefore, the influence of college lifestyles and lenient campus restrictions have has a significant impact on the rise of this culture. Because overall enrollment of students in universities has risen by 78% from 1970-2000, there are many more young adults being exposed to the social atmosphere of college life than there were in the past (Bogle 2). Bogle explains that currently, many college students have “unrestricted access to each other”, and this freedom fosters hooking up by providing an atmosphere that is void of supervision (Trumpet). Bogle also suggests that there has been a shift from ‘paired dating’ towards large group ‘hang outs’ within the last few years on many college campuses, which encourages uncommitted hooking up because young adults are giving less individual attention to specific people (Bogle 29). This is reinforced by the suggestion that “students are immersed in a campus culture in which sexual behavior is commonly detached from emotional commitment” (Lopez). This risky behavior is often even ‘normalized’ on campuses because the ‘everyone does it’ attitude is commonly held, which can be hazardous because it can pressure students to participate in activities that they may not want to take part in (Lopez).

Due to modern students’ tendency to focus on approaching a career path, the prospect of marriage is often being delayed by this generation. Experts agree that this is a key factor in the spread of the hook up culture because it causes young adults to be less serious about finding secure relationships early on. Young adults understand that they aren’t going to marry for a number of years, and they therefore postpone settling down. The typical ages of newlyweds are at an all time high, with grooms around age 27 and brides around age 25 (Bogle 2). Stepp acknowledges that this generation often cites any form of commitment as threatening to their future plans, and therefore young adults are learning to depend on themselves rather than focusing on relationships with others (Carroll).

The recent increase in independence has led young adults to rely less on the guidance of others, and this often includes parents. Differences in dating practices between the older and younger generations can lead to a major void in mutual understanding. Stepp acknowledges this issue by explaining that in many cases, it is almost as if they’re “speaking different languages” when it comes to dating (Carroll). Many parents are unsettled by the unknown and also intimidated by the fact that their kids seem to be moving much faster than they had at their age (Weill 26). This can lead to a lack of communication between young adults and parents because they often simply don’t know how to relate to one another on this subject. However, even many of the parents who are aware of the hook up culture and the issues involved fail to guide their children properly. This occurs when a parent develops a ‘not my kid’ attitude and assumes that although the culture exists, their kid is “certainly not participating in it” (Weill 25). Because of this attitude, many young adults are discouraged to talk to their parents about hooking up because they fear that they will overreact or be disappointed in their behavior (Weill 11).

Although many young adults are deterred from talking about hooking up with their parents, this doesn’t mean that they don’t want guidance. In a 2004 national campaign, 87% of those surveyed responded that it would be easier to postpone sexual activity if they were able to have more open conversations with their parents (Weill 73). It is clear that barriers of communication can lead to a deficiency in children being assisted in setting boundaries, or even being educated on the subject, because only 13% of young adults surveyed believed that they were getting enough information about abstinence and contraception (Weill 130). This often leads to problems because it can compel young adults to seek information from the wrong places. Of those surveyed, 23% responded that they get most of their facts about sex from their friends (Weill 110). This can be a destructive habit because when learning from friends, warnings about the risks and emotional attachment that can accompany sexual behavior are often neglected (Lopez).

Many people argue that the hook up revolution has improved life, for women in particular, by providing a new sense of empowerment and choice. Stepp highlights that in her generation, "if you didn't have a date, you didn't dare go out on a Friday night" (Carroll). These days, most women have reversed this roll by venturing to bars and clubs on weekends regardless of their relationship status because they don’t have to be “waiting around for a boy to call” (Carroll). Many believe that this hook up culture gives women the ability to express their sexuality in a way that they weren’t able to before, and gives them more control than they previously had (Carroll). However, not all women are embracing this new freedom; many are even “unsettled and ashamed” of the way they are expected to act under this system (NPR). This can lead to problems because there are higher expectations for women to be more openly sexual. Stepp addresses this problem by explaining that if girls are freer to be sexual by societal standards, then many guys “automatically assume they are going to be” (Carroll). Therefore, women are consequently facing high levels of pressure in this system. Freedom of sexuality also leads to difficulties because society no longer sets high standards for women, and thus they have to learn how to set their own boundaries by themselves (Carroll). Consequently, many young women run into trouble because they don’t always know how to make choices that are beneficial to their wellbeing.

Hooking up can also be detrimental to a young adult’s state of mind due to the overall imbalance of the system. Bogle explains that the party with the least interest in continuing a relationship will therefore have the most control (Bogle 16). As a result, many young adults find themselves having to ‘settle’ for hooking up because the other partner is unwilling to commit to anything further (Weill 53). Hooking up can leave people feeling used and ashamed, and this can detrimentally affect a person’s emotional wellbeing. The consequences of rejection and shame are most commonly mild, but there are also more severe outcomes that can affect any age group or gender (Weill). It is common knowledge that this hook up culture exists, “yet we wonder why so many young people suffer from depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and self-abuse” (Lopez). Young adults are failing to connect the act of hooking up with these disorders, and thus they aren’t always warned of the possible consequences before they engage in promiscuous behavior.

Although it is universally agreed upon that the nature of relationships has changed over recent decades, there are many different arguments for why the changes have occurred and what effect they have had on this generation. The transformation from traditional dating to the modern ‘hook up’ culture was influenced by a combination of features, and therefore no single component can be held singularly responsible as the main contributing factor. Although the culture embraces future career paths and supports the freedom of women, it is more powerful in its negative effects due to the pressure it puts on young adults and also the low standards it holds for dignity and respect.

• 2010 Spring
• Research